My pediatrician had a different view. I can say to working in daycare for college I get it. There is a point the kids are going to need to build there immune system. For most modern children it is in daycare. Yes, they get sick. But it they don't they get sick in prek or kindergarten. I was a stay at home mom. But I put my little one day care mornings 3 days a week so she would get the immunity up.
There is also a first time teacher immunity build up. Frequently new teachers have to rebuild there immunity. Just a thought.
It seems like things got very blurred and Matt is feeling like he was the last priority of anything. I understand your a homebody, but in working this through you might consider, taking yourself to Kensi's for dates.
It seems Matt hasn't felt or heard about his needs. It is so weird to me that in dec you were writing about them having a child togather when in fact he was struggling. That is a huge difference in views.
I agree he needs to communicate, is it possible, that he didn't feel safe or feel he had to right to make his needs heard.
I can tell you that I have a major disconnect with my husband and we are currently separated, he had a lack of honesty going on. He is working with therapy towards resolvoing the family of origin issues that brought this about. My boyfriend and I just broke up because of issues in our relationship nothing to do with husband, more about not feeling respected. So I have great empathy for you.