Here's a new revelation:
My husband says that when he told his father that he wanted to marry me (a love marriage with an American woman who'd been around the block, not an arranged marriage with an Indian woman), his father predicted that my husband would not be the only romantic/sexual partner for me during our marriage, and that we would divorce after 15 years. My father in law died before I ever met him. My husband has always struggled for the approval (even posthumously) of his father, so he feels some sense of failure around the fact that I have not been monogamous, and I think his desire to stay married is also in part to prove his father wrong. (We'll mark 14 years this summer.)
In other news, I learned that he has desired sex more often than I thought (we've had seriously long dry spells, months at a time). I let him know that it hurts me to think he'd rather ignore me than work to seduce me. I gave him a list of articles on "how to seduce your wife" and he has been acting a lot more loving and affectionate lately. I'm relieved, because I was feeling zero sexual interest in him and wondering what was wrong with me, but now that he's paying me more attention, some of the appeal is coming back. C gets me excited all the time, so I knew it wasn't a problem with my body.
Married to a monogamous man 15 yrs, mother of 2, dating C 3 yrs, and in a romantic friendship with L more than 20 yrs