Polycurious Brooklyn Girl Wants 2 Boyfriends
Hey, I'm 29 and live in Brooklyn. I am so curious about polyamory because I want to go beyond an MMF threesome experience and into like, romantic territory with two dudes. I figured this is a good place to start getting info on the logistics of something like that.
Maybe logistics is the wrong word, but yeah here I am, being open about my ideal relationship setup. Haha.
As a young girl I was always boy crazy. Then unbeknownst to me I developed feelings for my female best friend in High School. It wasn't until I did a three week long Young Writers' Workshop in the Berkshires that I hooked up with an aggressive chick and realized I was queer. I went back home and told her, she dumped me as a friend, and I developed a crush on another female friend who was actually down to experiment. I was 17 and she was 16. For the next few years while we were in college, we were involved in a long-distance, top-secret unofficial relationship in which she maintained she was straight and NOT my girlfriend, but I was head over twat in love with her. She wouldnt even go into sex territory with me for a few years. So our relationship was somewhat open and on again/off again, and I started having sex with men at my liberal arts school whenever we were off.
By the time she finally laid me and admitted she was my girlfriend, she still didn't want to be as open as I did, or have public displays of affection. It was frustrating, like.....the difference in emotional investment. I was also developing feelings for different dudes. I did cheat on her a few times with different guys and she always found out, through my own negligence to conceal information or through the grapevine. She grew extremely resentful of me and treated me terribly and we had a lot of anger toward each other.
When I was 24 I broke it off for good and she tried to ruin me, like, slander my name, like she barfed black blood of revenge on my life and moved to Oregon.
Since then I've tried to hack it with men, but all I've done is racked up a bunch of casual sex partners. I did have some steady situations here and there, but I wouldn't let those dudes call me their girlfriend because I was kind of commitment-fearing and drug-addled and afraid of intimacy.
So here I am 29 years old never having had a serious boyfriend.
I want a serious boyfriend, but yo, actually no, I want TWO. Fuck. Who says I can't have it all? I want two goddamn boyfriends who are not only aware of each other, but who will cuddle me in a bed from both sides, and are hopefully bicurious and willing to hook up with each other, but never to the exclusion of me.
Is that too much to ask? Am I being unrealistic? If I am, I'll settle for one boyfriend, but ideally there'd be two. And they'd be blond. Twinks.
Nice to meet y'all.