Where I live is rather a small community that i have lived in for the past 20ish years. I know litterally everyone. Dating for me will always have to be rather discrete no matter how I skin the cat and wind up with someone. My gf now is ok with how things are. I dont have a public life with her. She really is a amazing person to be near and I always look forward to seeing her again and not just for sex. I am not looking. I am happy to have her in my life and things feel normal for me as they can be given the situation. This is the first time I have ever been distanced from my wife and not had it be for my work reasons. Lots of things are new and our communication is better then I could have imagined. She knows who I am seeing but have never met her. Hard to say where that will be for the future.
I am rather lucky I guess that I have the wife that I do. When she first approached me on this lifestyle before the divorce I just didnt think it would be possible to live this way. I had my "life" outside my marriage and it stressed me out and I always felt like I couldnt give enough to either end and one was always left suffering for more. I hope that being this open about things and some understanding that we both can get what we need from life and I can maintain another partner that feels like they are satisfied as well. Sounds like a crazy balance to achieve.