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Old 03-07-2013, 04:33 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,384
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I hope it goes ok.

So far it sounds like he reached his limit, and stated as much. "Here's my line in the sand on these issues."

Great. We all have a limit. Doesn't sound like it came out with the most elegant of ways, but it is out. Issues identified.

So...Where's the moving it forward part? He got suggestions? Does she? Do you?

It is back into a "V" shape. But right now it is a V shape in disharmony. What's the plan for restoring harmony then? Before even chasing that shiny thought down that road...

1) Could assess who is still in it here or not. Where is your willingness? His willingness? Her willingness? What things are people willing/not willing to DO. Are they willing to work with you (all together) toward unsuffering and restoring balance to the V shape universe? Yes? Go on down that road.

2) No? People are no longer willing to participate in a harmonious V shape thing with you as the hinge? The V shape universe itself needs to change? Cannot have a triad, cannot have a V, it's going to be what...everyone single? Something else that is between a "V" and "all single" in there somehow? Accept "All parties no longer willing at all" and have THAT conversation instead. The landing of the polyship.

Whatever which way -- it has to move forward. If you don't move it forward... well, time marches on and moves it forward FOR YOU whether you like it or not. Sigh.

Could choose which path:
  • Life is something you purposefully create for yourself to meet your own wants, needs, and limits.
  • Life happens TO you as you just float along.

Before making major life changing decisions here -- could give yourselves a time out for a few weeks for self care. No contact at all. Just time out. See your counselor on your own, restore inner balance first. If it is destined to end, that break doesn't change much. If can be brought back into harmonious V, perhaps the break to cool off from high emotion would help and be of great benefit to all.

Just another thought for handling this. Take care of yourselves. It's rough right now, but it needn't keep ON being crazy town if everyone chooses not to go that route. You can get through this.

GL!
Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 03-07-2013 at 06:52 PM.
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