I appreciate and always welcome constructive critisism. I know that for every opinion that there is a different side to it. I dont have the first clue as to how to go about achieving what we want in life which is why we are here. I know what I would like to have happen. Wether its realistic or not, its hard to tell. Im sure that there is someone on this forum that has had some level of success and unfortunate failure to learn from. I have led a secret life for quite some time. I was rather good at it but it was way to taxing on my physical and mental being always living a lie like that. I dont want that. My wife dont deserve that. If I have to live as a "hinge" and both partners never speak but know about each other I am sure it would be easier living but im sure presents its own set of unique problems. The book I have is rather vague on setting up things like that. I am really open to conversations or private chat about it.