I've not really read the while thread, sorry bout that.
I would like to cover the original topic though, the level of support a parent decides to give their children is so very individual.
There's a festival I've wanted to go to for the last ten years. All of my mates go, but it's always on the weekend before my son starts his new school year, my preference is always to be with him on that weekend. I've still not been to that festival... So be it. Perhaps I'll go in the future.
I know starting school is a big deal for him, I choose to be with him. It's my pleasure and honour to support him during times that are significant to him.
Other people I know don't make choices like that, and so be it.
His father (my ex) oftens goes away during times that are significant to my son.
Part of the reason we split up was because I didn't agree on any moral or ethical stance with the idea of leaving your kid/s when they really need you.
I sort of liked the idea that my chosen partner may be there for me if I really needed him, and he would continually prove via his abandonment of our son that he was not that type of person.
That's ok, that's who he still is today. Not the person I want as a partner in this often difficult world. I do want someone I can rely on, yes I do.