Just a vent
Today I saw that thread show back up again. You know the one, some newbie wanting a triad and suddenly finding themselves on the losing end of a conversation about Unicorns. Having been on the backside of that one myself at the beginning, it got me thinking.
There is no one on this board whom I know in Real Life. No one here who knows The Pidge either. Our reasons for wanting to meet a man who might be interested in forming three relationships with us (me+him, her+him, me+ her +him) are, as far as I can tell, somewhat unique. I have searched threads using every term I can think of to try and find anyone who has been in the same boat, and nothing turns up. I have turned to the one person on this forum who I consider the shining light of kindness and empathy, and shared my situation via private messaging, and he can't recall anything quite like it either. He did, however, reassure me that I am not a classic Unicorn Hunter.
So much of this story is not mine to tell. I have a partner, and that story is hers. It is very personal, and she has not given her permission for me to discuss it. For various reasons, some new people do not feel comfortable with the responses they receive when they first share their stories here. For many regular participants, the discomfort of those new people is a source of frustration. Sadly, my partner is intimidated by this forum, and does not choose to particpate. I can't fault her fears, but I also can't ignore the likelyhood this is the best possible resource I have available at this time.
I am frustrated too. I have a problem to solve, a job of work to do. I feel a desire to help someone I love with a problem decades old, and deeply painful. I would love to ask for help, for support. But I can't. I can't explain why I need help. I can't explain why I have found myself here, on this forum, trying to find solutions to a situation I did not create but want to help resolve. And I absolutely can't blame the lack of answers on anything but my inablity to share the details.
The stakes are high. I have absolutely no experience and no training to deal with any of this. All I have is determination, a willingness to help, a feeling that this is one of those things a decent, humane person pitches in to fix for someone they love. And a truly insane level of fear that somehow I won't be able to do what needs to be done, that somehow I might make things worse.
Some days life just confuses the hell out of me.
This was just a vent, and not a plea for action on anyone else's part--just wanted to make that clear.