Thank you for laying that all out. I wanted to say it but didn't have the mental/emotional energy. As someone who is in a position that mirrors Si's, this thread is pretty hard for me to read. Still, I imagine that, like I would, she'd rather have the difficult truth than a pretty lie. I just hope she gets that truth in a way that's kind and that values her commitment, investment, feelings, and contributions, not a way that treats her as disposable because she's not "primary", not a biological parent, unexpectedly not wanted by one member, and perhaps has been a little obtuse in not knowing when a polite "please stay" was in fact disingenuous.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.