When I met Fly, he was coming off a bad, shit-hit-the-fan breakup, and told me that because he felt he was incapable of monogamy, he could never offer me exclusivity. Being a virgin and having had very limited experience with relationships, I decided to try it out with him and see how it went. Turns out, it went pretty well!
So after establishing our open relationship, I started to notice that where Fly had fuck buddies, I ended up with true FWB who never really went away. Even when we weren't physically intimate anymore, we kept in touch, went to movies, etc. I was recently invited to the baby shower of a couple I slept with about 5 years ago. Apparently, I'm not great at letting go.
I'm a nerd and took a lot of workshops about sex once I started having it, and ended up taking one at the Center for Sex Positive Culture (http://thecspc.org/
- if you're in the Seattle area this place is an awesome resource for a variety of sexuality-related stuff). Looking at their class calendar, they had one called "Poly 101," and the description really captured my attention.
In the workshop, it was a huge a-ha! moment. THIS is who I am! I so identified with the stories the presenters told, and began to understand that I wasn't completely bizarre for building all these long-lasting relationships with the people I slept with. It helped my boyfriend understand me better, also. He used to - and still does - shake his head at how complicated my love life looks next to his.
But now he gets that it's my nature to bond, and he supports my sometimes rocky journeys loving other people.
I grew up watching disney princess movies and believing the happily-ever-after of monogamy. Now, I'm still a goo-ball romantic, but I believe in the happily-here-and-now-for-as-long-as-it-lasts instead.