Originally Posted by SNeacail
This! How is she supposed to know you need her to go home unless you tell her. You guys need a sit down with all three of you. It doesn't have to be nasty, but it does need to be firm that you need space and so much "togetherness" is stressing you out! Be VERY clear that an invitation for dinner shouldn't automatically be seen as an invitation to stay the night.
Once a week a group of us goes over to a friends house. On occasion she will offer her couch to any who want to stay, but other times, she just flat says "Sorry guys, but I need to kick you all out". Do NOT be afraid to ask people to leave your home when you feel the need for space. If you feel the need to soften the request, you could always follow it up with a dinner invitation for few days from now.
It sounds like you actually do like her company, just is much smaller doses than you've been getting.
I get what you're saying. I don't want an argument, but it's going to happen. It needs to happen. I'm not the argumentative type, but this is the calm before the storm that has been brewing. As of this moment, she isn't aware that I don't want to be part of a poly family and that if I had my say, she would be cut out of our family and just a friend. My wife knows, but it isn't her place to convey what I feel and think. That's my job. That's not my place or right to say who she can and can't be with or to change her lifestyle, but I'm going to tell her girlfriend. If we're going to open up the box and be honest, that has to be said.