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Old 03-06-2013, 05:47 PM
hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 440

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
In what ways? Maybe people here could help you more if you spelled out these things.
She thinks of our household as home base, and our relationship as a lifelong partnership. The vision we shared in the past is that we would grow old together, whatever other, um, adventures we had in the mean time. We would be able to rely on one another in a pinch, share a common history . . . you know, the works. It's not exactly story-book, I guess, since she's not at all monogamous and I'm not sure whether I am; but she wants me to be the one she comes home to, and she wants to be the one I come home to.

Does that make any sense?

Also, if it came to a choice, she confirmed this morning that this is the relationship she to which she would give priority. If all other relationships failed, this is the one she would want to save.

Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
Need is a very strong word. Why does she 'need' to be away?
1. The air in the city we live in is quite toxic; she has chronic asthma, and has to take increasing doses of maintenance drugs to keep ahead of it, drugs that are having cumulative, long-term side-effects. She needs to be in a places with cleaner air, as often as she can manage it; until we can move our household - which depends on me advancing my career, rather than writing to online forums! - that means periodic travel.

2. She is developing her skill as a teacher in a particular domain - again, being coy, to protect identity; we're part of a small community of people who tend to know one another, even across vast distances! - and travel serves that purpose. She has some travel coming up this spring related to professional development, and the events she attends in Europe are also relevant to that. She's quite good at what she does, and I'm proud of what she has accomplished.

3. She really is into the idea of being poly, and the one other relationship most worth cultivating happens to be an LTR . . . with an American ex-pat in Europe. Whether that's a need may be a matter for debate, but it does contribute to her happiness.
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