Originally Posted by hyperskeptic
It's curious to me how quick people on this forum are to suggest pulling the plug on long-term relationships. This is the second such suggestion I received yesterday.
To be frank, it's one of the least admirable aspects of polyamory, and is the aspect of the would-be community here that makes me think monogamy might really be the better way to go.
It's not pulling the plug when the bathtub is leaky and all the water has already drained out. It's just getting out and towelling yourself off.
It's not a poly/mono thing, it's a modern era thing. Back in the day, women needed to stay married in order to keep themselves and their children fed. Society dictated that even if your marriage was shit, you stayed married, because that's what you did.
I don't suggest people get divorced every time they hit a road bump, provided both members are willing to put in the hard work to restore the marriage. But my interpretation of what you've said is that your wife has checked out of the marriage and is just doing her own thing now. One person cannot fix a marriage all by himself.