Originally Posted by hyperskeptic
It's curious to me how quick people on this forum are to suggest pulling the plug on long-term relationships. This is the second such suggestion I received yesterday.
To be frank, it's one of the least admirable aspects of polyamory, and is the aspect of the would-be community here that makes me think monogamy might really be the better way to go.
Dude, stop blaming poly for your problems.
You are fucking miserable. You've been fucking miserable the entire time you've posted here.
When people post about why they are fucking miserable, other people tend to point to the thing that is making them fucking miserable. In this case, it's your marriage. Poly is NOT the reason people are suggesting - gently or not so gently - that hey, this is not working and maybe it is time to end it.
And you know what? You will still be fucking miserable as a monogamous person. Choosing monogamy (or polyamory) will not fix anything. You will still feel despondent, have little self-respect, and feel helpless. Your relationship stance of poly or mono is not the problem. The problem is that your marriage is broken. It is so broken, from an outsider's perspective based on what you've posted here, that maybe it is time to let it go.
If you haven't already, get yourself to a therapist. This level of despondency and helplessness is not healthy. It is not good for you or your children.