Thanks. I've been away for the past week on business, so I've had a lot of time to think, process my thoughts, and figure out what to say to her. For me, it's not over-analyzing. I just needed time to think, and I've done that.
Her girlfriend is always around, and there's part of me that wants to tell her to back the hell up in the nicest way possible. Right now, there are days where I don't even want her at our house. At one point, she was there every single day and spending the night. She was spending 28 out of 31 days at our home. The 3 she didn't spend there were because of working overnight. She doesn't live with us, but if she did, the tension would be thick. The one place you should always feel comfortable is at home, and it would be far from that if she lived there. I think she could sense that her presence wasn't wanted or welcomed, so she has been staying at her apartment.
Let me put it like this, my wife flew here to be with me, and this has been the most peaceful and relaxed week. It has been peaceful because her girlfriend hasn't been around. We've had the time to talk, go on dates, and enjoy it just being the two of us and spending time with our children. Its been cool, and I would love for it to just be the two of us or the four us including our children. I'm not forcing my wants on to my wife. That wouldn't be right of me, since I "signed up" for this. Too bad I can't amend that deal and back out of this deal. There have have been signs--be them subconsciously or intentionally. We were invited to a wedding, and I RSVPed +1, with the +1 being my wife. I excluded her. Maybe I should feel bad about excluding her girlfriend and intentionally wanting her to be left out, but half of me doesn't.
My feelings aren't stemming from the pending demise of my relationship with her girlfriend and the transition back to a Vee. I've been feeling like this for a few months, and I thought the feelings would just subside and balance out. They haven't. They've become clearer, and I now know for sure that I can't continue being with her when I know I'll never be able to love her.
The problem with telling my wife my feelings is she's automatically going to feel torn and like she has to make a choice. That's what I'm trying to avoid. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. I don't want her to feel like she has to choose between me and our family or her girlfriend. She already knows about my intentions of transitioning from a triad back to a Vee. She respects my feelings in that aspect. I won't say that I'm miserable. I'm not by any shot, but I'm happier when her girlfriend isn't around like the plague.