Welcome to our forum.
At last, someone has more numbers in their username than me;
I haven't been in a "secondary position" per se, but I've been a "newcomer" in a couple that had already been married for about ten years. I think it almost always takes the new person time to adjust and develop a sense of "belonging."
"Of course it would be great to find like minded people in my area for friendship."
Try our Dating & Friendships subforum
(if you haven't been there already); it may help.
Let us know of any thoughts or questions you may have; check out our various threads ... lots to read and learn here.
Glad to have you aboard.