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Old 03-05-2013, 09:08 PM
LillDeb LillDeb is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Alabama
Posts: 6

Well C is back at home, thankfully. I'm so pleased with this news as there were complications. Her and I seem to be on a good even keel so far. My vibes were (at this point) all in my head. She has continuously asked for my presence and support. There are moments where she has break downs (to be expected given everything) and then there are the moments when she is simply angry at the world (again, expected). C is well on her way to healing both physically and mentally though she still has a very long road ahead of her.
C has said that B, even though she is at home with him, has been very distant and almost cold towards her. I half expected some of that as he's unwilling to recognize her grief for X. C is talking about going home to her house sooner rather than later, which is not at all what I expected.
Now, B on the other hand has gone the complete opposite direction. He texted me the other night telling me how he was drunk, (coping mechanism) and that he was feeling sorry for himself. This statement concerned me as it is not normally in his nature to be like that. I was at the hospital with C as she simply wanted a females company to do those things that we enjoy, i.e. washing her hair...when B found out that I was there, he said he felt like crap because he needed to take some time to himself and then C asked me to come out there to her. I told B that he was simply being full of shit and that I needed to come kick his butt. It isn't as if we hadn't bantered back and forth in this manner before. He asked me why I needed to come kick his butt and I replied because he was being full of it and it needed to be kicked out. He then accused me of belittling his feelings which was no where near the case and deep down inside he knows this. Least I would hope that he does.
So when I didn't hear back from him, I texted him upon leaving the hospital that I was headed his way and he needed to call me. Now mind you, I live over an 1 hr from him. About 35 minutes from the hospital to his home. It was rapidly getting late. I continued to text him and call him simply looking for a response to let me know that he was ok. I wasn't going there for any extra activity, farthest thing from my mind. Grief, Loss, self pity and alcohol don't always make for a good combination. I just wanted to ensure myself that he was ok. Was I wrong in going there?
I rang the bell, he answered a few minutes later. His exact words were "what the F"*&?" I explained to him that I just wanted to make sure that he was ok. I was then promptly told that he didn't need the drama that I was bringing (which we have none of other than this current accident that we are ALL contending with) and that he was a grown man and could take care of himself. Again, I stated my reason for being there, that I was just checking on him to make sure that he was ok. He told me that I was full of it. Now mind you, my truck was running as I didn't want it to get cold. I had no ulterior motives, no need to go into his home lest he wanted to talk and rant n rave, you truck was running and I was standing outside in 27 degree weather. I told him fine, I knew he was ok then, so I left. He hollers at me to text him to let him know I was home safe. I told him "don't worry about me as I got this". I'm shattered that he couldn't simply accept that I was trying to give him an outlet to vent to. He texted J to ask if I got home.
He hasn't spoken to me since. He hasn't texted me, he hasn't hit me up on chat...nothing.
I'll be seeing C tomorrow, which I'm excited about as she is supposed to be going home tonight, to her house that is. Other than the situation with B, it seems so far that C and I are ok which that just fills my heart with love. But then on the other side of the fence, B isn't speaking to me at all now......What to do?
Lill Deb
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