Originally Posted by SNeacail
What about asking him to hold off dating others for RIGHT NOW, while you guys address some of your insecurities about the idea? Therefore you are not saying NO forever. Changing the status quo is never easy and can take some getting used to before your mentally ready to face it.
What are you afraid of? Do you even know? So many times just the thought of something sets off all our alarms and sends us into panic, but once we have time to calmly dissect it, there is really one or two items at the heart of it. Granted, they can be MAJOR factors, but once identified, solutions can be found to minimize or alleviate your insecurity.
Is it really that you can't share or is it more a fear of if you do, it will now be a competition and he will choose her?
I didn't want to say no forever. I wanted to wait until I'm ready to deal with the idea. All of this came so sudden and unexpectedly.
Like I said before, he once told me he was okay with just me dating two people and that was it. Now he changed his speech, told me that he lied and came up with this, caught me off guard. I'm all conflicted and my mind is a mess because of this. I don't know what to do.
I don't even know if I have insecurities. I don't think I would have any if his other love was genuine and not just a woman he found. I am just not ready yet. This happened all so suddenly, during a time in my life where I'm having a load of stress at home, a load of things to sort out in my mind. I was not expecting this kind of discussion with him. At all.
I swear I do not know how I would react. I am extremely confused. I don't know if it's the fact that I can't share. I don't know. I only know I'm not comfortable with the idea, I don't know if I will be later or not... I'm just not ready. I wish he would understand that.