Originally Posted by BoringGuy
yes, one method "is" better. Several people have mentioned that they get better results, or any results, meeting people and finding compatible partners when they ArEN'T lookinh. It doesn't so much matter WHERE you look, it matters HOW and WHY you look.
Better seems to me to be a subjective determination. Perhaps when I was much younger, the "not looking" approach was fine, boys seemed to fall out of the trees with no effort on my part. Several decades later, this is not the case.
Like almost everything else in life, now if I want something I have to be willing to put in the work to make it happen. I know there are more than a few folks here who use various online dating sites to increase their chances of success, I don't see the harm in that, personally. Actively working to make the changes in one's life that are desired is not a bad thing--a better job, a new lover, losing weight, more education, new hobbies which require specific skills, etc. All of these things take work on the part of the person desiring the change, and are based on a goal of improving general quality of life.
Waiting around for the universe to deliver the goods without being willing to take responsibility smacks of a complacent "I deserve, so I must receive" viewpoint, and is one that, for me, leads to the universe taking a big poop on my head to show me the price of hubris.