So sorry you're in this predicament. I do hope you can get ahold of your violent outbursts. They're counterproductive, and make it almost impossible to have any kind of civilized discussion.
So you want monogamy, and he wants polyamory. I'm guessing he already has someone in mind, based on what you told us in your initial post. Since he does not yet have your blessing, that would be cheating. I'm REALLY hoping that's not the case, but I've been in your shoes before. Can you account for his time "at the library"? Does he keep his texting and emails carefully guarded? Has he made any changes in his apperance, clothing, etc.? Sometimes people become "converts" to the idea of polyamory retroactively, to justify an affair. If this is the case, hold his feet to the fire and make him accountable for his betrayal of trust. In this case you'd have some important decisions to make. Polaymory must come from a place of trust and honesty. Openness. Do you guys have that?
In any event, you guys are going to have to have some long, intense discussions. In an adult, civilized fashion. Have you guys considered marriage counselling? Sometimes that third party can force couples to have better, more focused, less antagonistic, discussions.
Last edited by learninginTN; 03-04-2013 at 06:03 PM.