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Old 01-06-2010, 05:44 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900

Imaginary, I find your post to be a bit too exhausting to fully address tonight as I have to pack for travel, but I will address these points that stuck out to me:

You know…I think this specific phrase is probably what gets some peoples hackles up. ‘Calling out’ being something that’s done in old westerns just before a gunfight makes it seem very challenging, and could be perceived as an attempt to invalidate someone else’s perspective. Just a thought.

If you have such an intense desire to ‘call out’ everything that’s posted so be it...challenge it all if you like…fill your boots. I'll just say...I don’t answer to you. My lines of thinking don’t answer to you. They answer to me. My opinions and lines of thinking are quite capable of standing on their own, and being valid based on me and my experiences, regardless of challenges...or how much they may make anyone’s blood boil. They are just as valid as anyone else’s experiences or opinions no matter how much they may not suit my own preferences. They don’t need to agree...and I’m ok with that. In this case I actually think we do agree...we just haven't figured that out yet.
"Calling out" is the phrase that is most often used in multiple communities I've participated in when something is said by someone that creates ripples in others that the original person may not perceive. It has nothing to do with gunfights in my cultural background. If you have a better phrase feel free to offer it and I'd be happy to consider it. As to my motivations for calling things out, feel free to assume what you would like. I only call things out that have ripples that reach to me, whether the person perceives that or not. I find a ton of assumptions made on this forum and when those assumptions touch me, I address them. To call something out is to bring the issue out into the open so that everyone involved can better understand what happened. I also like to have my ideas challenged and examined. They are worth more to me if they've been examined that way. If it annoys you, then feel free to ignore me.

Again...not at all what I said. If you choose to create an interpretation such as this and be insulted by it, that’s your choice. Take it, own it, make a flower arrangement with it, do whatever you want with it. However it’s not what I said, nor what I meant.
I find it interesting that you previously mention that I should consider that how I phrase something can raise other people's hackles and speak to how it's my choice to have my hackles raised in this situation. So I'm confused as to which advice should be followed when and by whom. I'm honestly ok with either situation. I explained how what you said was insulting to me, you explained that's not what you meant and we could probably go back and forth about it, but frankly, I don't find it worth my time to do so.

And finally:

In this particular context of addressing non-parents (and I would gladly remodel this for dozens of contexts…it’s that versatile), I would simply paraphrase it to say, who do you think understands the experiences and challenges of being a parent? You, or those who have time-in as parents?
I have never spoken to the experiences and challenges of being a parent. I've merely spoken to the effect that certain choices have on other people, despite the fact that they are probably valid choices being made as a parent. I have never said that they should or shouldn't make those choices or presumed to say or know what is best for them.

Last edited by Ceoli; 01-06-2010 at 05:46 AM.
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