God this bangs a gong!
Originally Posted by LoveBunny
I want to stop feeling terrified that I'll run into her and we'll act like strangers
A 7-year-old girl chose me to be her "godfather" (without the religious aspect). For years we were very close. I FOUGHT my friends, her parents (especially her step-father) on her behalf. At one low point in my own life, I felt that she was the only thing in my life keeping me going.
And she adored me.
Now - at 28 - she considers me to be an old hippy, one of life's losers, a failure, an embarrassment... She has made her disdain of me very plain on several occasions.
When I wrote her an e-mail offering her freedom from our godfather-goddaughter relationship (and included the line: "It would make me wildly happy if you ever decided to be friends with me again."), she replied with "If you want to put an end to our friendship, that's up to you. I
see no need to..." Pure hollow hypocrisy!
She shared my e-mail with her parents and they talked with me about it. What I said to them is "I DON'T want a superficial relationship with her. I don't want to make small talk while my heart is bleeding all over the floor. I'd rather not see her."
I think that if she wanted to be real
friends AT WHATEVER DEGREE OF INTENSITY, I'd accept that. But she wants to be "officially friends" without any warmth at all, and that I can't handle.