CielDuMatin, thank you so much for the link to Franklin Veaux's site. I think somewhere in my mind I felt that I had to label myself as poly even when I'm still trying to sort out if I am. The writing you posted definitely did give me a lot of food for thought and made me realize that with all the challenges in my relationship, that we are doing the things we need to in order to make it work as best as it can. It's so comforting to know I'm not alone!
MonoVCPHG, I've definitely struggled with those thoughts. Nights are most difficult, especially after my boyfriend has left and I know that I likely will not see him for a few days. Those are the times when I can sometimes find myself thinking that if I just had someone laying in bed with me, I wouldn't feel so lonely without my boyfriend. And then I realize that it definitely would be for all the wrong reasons and thankfully have never acted on those feelings. Thank you for reminding me to look into my heart in those times when I feel at peace - those tend to be the times when we're together.
DrunkenPorcupine, your post really brings home to me that every relationship needs to be defined by it's own terms and what works for those involved. I think the times when I start to doubt the most or worry the most is when I get hung up on terminology - primary vs. secondary, poly vs. mono. That's definitely something I need to work on as I know it doesn't benefit me, my boyfriend, or our relationship.