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Old 03-03-2013, 12:50 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 833

Originally Posted by ValerieAOK View Post
I really like challenging peoples perspectives with my own,
So what perspective are you challenging in this thread? The perspective that being honest with other people is good, wise, kind, and/or respectful? The perspective that truthfulness from the start is a better foundation for relationships than lies? If so, go ahead and back that up.

I truly believe a lot of societal life based on lies of omission to make things comfortable for people to get through the day. My self included.
If 'lies by omission' include 'omitting' to tell someone you think they're fat or ugly...yes, we all do that. It's called common courtesy. It's called kindness. We are not obligated to voice every thought that flits through our minds. But there is a moral obligation to be upfront about important facts that affect other people. Such as that we're married, when we want to date.

This to me means fun, perhaps toy like, you are correct in calling it that. But I still have my favorite toy from when I was a child, I've never tried to change it, and I appreciate it for what it is, care for it and in the case of a human "toy" if they chose not to participate then they are free to do so.
Most people don't want to be someone else's toy to be cared for. And how are they free to make an educated choice when you withhold pertinent facts?

I truly just want to date some girls, learn how to wine and dine them, romance them, have fun new experiences.
Please make sure in your dating profile that you're upfront you want to use them as a learning tool, like a chalkboard or an old junker car, while you hone your skills.

As if I'm a single female.
But you're not.

I'd sometimes like to behave as if I'm child-free. But I'm not. I'd like to live in a penthouse in NYC as if I'm a billionaire. But I'm not.

Let me ask this in a different way.. what does it really mean to be single? How am I really any different? I feel like my husband is just like a best friend. Best friends don't get in the way of dating do they? My best friend in high school did not. Sure I'm committed to staying with him, but does that mean I have to devote all my time to him? Is that maybe how being single status is so different? I won't have time for the new person?
You may not see it as any different. You may even argue circles around someone by continually saying, but why? but why? but why? That doesn't change the fact that another person may see it as different, and may not want to date a married woman, and ought to be given the full information necessary to make that choice. None of your arguments are going to change the very real fact that many people, probably most, are not going to appreciate getting involved with someone and only later finding out she's married.

You know, you started this thread by saying you can't get what you want by being honest on your profile. So you want to be a little less honest so you can have what you want. Getting what we want is not really the hallmark of a mature life, well-lived. It's a child's mode of thinking. Living with integrity and honesty, respecting others, accepting that we don't get everything we want in this life...these are the signs of maturity and adulthood.

As someone else said, nobody here can make you do or say anything on your profile. It's yours. Do as you will. Just don't be surprised when people are not terribly happy with you on finding out the full truth.
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