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Old 03-02-2013, 11:53 PM
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Originally Posted by FluffieBunny View Post
Malfunktions- No, I don't think he does know just how much it bothers me. I'm not exactly sure how to tell him, but I'm working on figuring it out. He doesn't talk about her all that much, but goddamn facebook keeps reminding me whenever they're doing something together.
I had this problem with my partner and my metamour - especially when he was laid off and the two of them were able to do all sorts of things during the day while I was working OT. Ugh, ugh, ugh. I was EXTREMELY envious of their time together, as well as the type of time they spent together. It's not like they were rubbing it in my face, going "Nyaah nyaah - look what WE can do!" but FB has the tendency to be that obnoxious guy at the party, going, "HEY GUYS, LOOK WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE!"

What I did, and I don't know if they'd be amenable to it in your case, is (after identifying FB as a big trigger for me and my envy), basically asked that they restrict their posts, at least for their gooshy, "together time" posts, to not include me. I didn't want to ask them to not post (that would be unfair), but I wanted the option of avoiding it without having to unfriend them altogether. They agreed, and I've been happier for it.

Not so much of a "head in the sand" thing, as it is limiting TMI to me - I mean, I KNOW they go out and I'm happy they have a good time, but I don't want to see all the "squeeee" stuff between them. I tend to be more private with my displays of affection. Seeing it between them triggers this weird dichotomy between the competitive streak in me - that I need to post more gooshy stuff of my own - and the "but this is PRIVATE" feeling that makes me not want to post it at all. I didn't need the stress, and it wasn't going away without doing something.

Anyway... a lot of blather for a simple suggestion, but it might be worth asking for.
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