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Old 03-02-2013, 03:22 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Everyone thinks that is the case, but that statement would probably be true if amended to say that women in their 20s and 30s get tons of messages. Older women do not. I sure wish I had a backlog of messages to sort through!
Not even all women in their 30s. I get maybe 3 messages a month.

I think it has a lot to do with what you're looking for, how many cutesy pictures you have, and whether or not you say right up front that you are married and not looking to fuck around.

Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
I just don't get it how people GO OUT LOOKING FOR RELATIONSHIPS, like they're shopping for a house. Does this approach EVER WORK? It MUST, or there wouldn't be like all these "dating websites".
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
BG - I 100% agree with you on this. I have never "Looked For" a relationship in my life - for me they are just something that "happens" as you meet people and incorporate them into your life.
When I was younger (late teens, early 20s) I would sometimes fall into the trap of looking for relationships. It never worked out. If I did meet someone that way, it was short lived and unfulfilling. Whenever I gave up and decided to be happy being single, I would inevitably meet someone who fit right into my life at the time. That was true right up until I met my husband when I had decided I absolutely did not want a serious relationship at the time. Oh Universe, how ironic thou art.

But that being said, I do have a profile on OKC, and I did meet my girlfriend that way. But at the time, neither of us was actually "looking for" a relationship, we were both just open to the possibility of perhaps meeting someone. Since we were both busy people, that seemed a reasonable way to go about it. She had come out of a bad relationship a year before and had taken a break from dating. At the end of the year, she decided to re-open her OKC profile. She saw that we matched around 90% and messaged me with something along the lines of "I always contact cute girls who match me over 90%. I'm not looking for anything necessarily, but would you be interested in coffee?" and it just went smoothly from there.

I think the #1 most important rule of dating is to be 100% happy and secure with yourself and your life, by yourself. You can't bring anything positive into a relationship if you're looking for it to fill some hole in your life. Nobody [who is healthy] wants to be relied upon to fix you or your situation. Once you have your own life in order and you're happy being single, things tend to just fall into your lap. The catch is you can't try to fool fate by "making yourself happy just so you can find a mate." You have to be sincerely making yourself happy for your own sake.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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