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Old 03-02-2013, 01:48 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,422
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
... I am surprised at how fucking awesome it is to see somebody actively working to make sure things go smoothly for everybody involved, nobody has ever beat me to the punch on something like that before. Hot.
Super-Double-Awesome! GalaGirl sometimes uses the phrase "Hot Ethics" - which really resonates with me, and seems to apply here. His approach seems to be proactive and practical.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
On another note in a week it's going to be my 2 year anniversary with Brian. It feels so different when you generally only see somebody once a week and don't interact with them much via other means in between, just doesn't "seem" like two years.
People have noted that the NRE seems to get stretched out when the interaction is limited (whether by scheduling or distance). On the other hand - it doesn't "seem" like I have been with MrS for 20 years either - in my brain it seems like we just got married a few years ago (maybe this is just because I can't fathom how OLD we have gotten .)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
I'm enjoying spending time with him more as time goes by instead of less, and I think our differences have actually taught me a lot about relationships.
Good, good. I have little relationship experience (just one really long and happy one ) and initially had to remind myself that just because MrS and I do stuff one way doesn't mean that there aren't other valid ways to be be together. Dude is NOT MrS and my relationship with him will NOT be the same. The fact that your interest and comfort level continues to grow...good stuff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
I find myself feeling self conscious about the sheer hedonism of it all. I've felt it is totally acceptable to have two partners but think I've have had an vague feeling that if I had three I'd think I was greedy.
Yup, hedonism guilt - I sometimes get struck by the thought that it really isn't fair that I get to be so happy and be with these two great boys and play with fun girls and live this great life...while other people are struggling in their relationships and unhappy or lonely. Like I don't really "deserve" to be this lucky. I then remind myself that I am only responsible for MY relationships, and if everyone is happy then there is NO problem with "letting" myself be happy too. My happy is not stealing from anyone else's happy. Adding a third person (if everyone's needs are getting met and current relationships are being tended) does not "steal" anything from someone else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
I'll be curiously watching what happens in my head after this actually means three sexual partners (I'm a slow mover, what can I say) to see if I actually think that.
Love this! Watching my own brain work stuff out is one of my favorite pasttimes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
Lastly, things with Adam have been going really well. ... I'm considering going to see his counselor at some point, but truthfully I haven't felt conflicted about anything for so long I cant think of anything to talk about right now. I'll probably start when he is dating again, as I'm sure we'll have issues with my B&W literal interpretation of our agreements vs his shades of grey interpretation, and having an outside view will help me to stop taking it personally when it happens.
Glad things are going so well, sounds like you know where trouble spots are likely to develop and have an idea has to how these can be handled. (There's YOU being proactive and practical.)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
So still pretty non eventful all things considered. Still pretty happy (actually I'm ecstatically sickeningly happy). Just not boring at the moment
Actually, it sounds pretty "eventful" at the moment (lots of interesting stuff and possibilities going on)...but what it seems like is "non dramatic" and "low conflict".

JaneQ

PS. Sorry to take up such a long post on your blog - but you had so many positives in there to congratulation you on.
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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