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Old 03-02-2013, 03:42 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
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Would more emotional-based communnication help? Trying to describe what you feel like when a boundary gets overdrawn, the physical feelings, pits in your stomach, headaches, etc. ... how it affects your mind, creates confusion and makes you wonder if she really cares about you ... how it affects your heart, how you feel like she is leaving you for another man and it is tearing you up inside, it is making you feel like you're losing your self-esteem ... and even spiritual, how it is causing you to feel as if you are lost in the woods and cannot find your way out.

The above is mostly guesswork on my part, but think of it as an example of what describing the full range of effects would look like. I honestly don't think she knows how much she's hurting you. She sees it on some technical level, but not in any way that really means anything to her.

I feel it's apparent that your marriage is hanging on by a thread. I am trying to think of any last-resort measures that haven't been tried.

Perhaps in a separate conversation, you and she should talk about how the kids feel about all this, how their mother makes them feel. Could even be a conversation that the kids participate in.

I definitely wouldn't trust W to convey information to her boyfriend. You need to get in touch with him directly and let him know how bad things are. You might be surprised to see that he is rather shocked.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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