So nervous I could toss cookies
So upon leaving the house for tonight's debacles, C hugs me, kisses me, and does our normal "oh your leaving" routine.
The only difference this time?
"Go! Flirt to your hearts content! Enjoy yourself! I love you."
Was easy to say.
....at the time.
No, I'm not jealous, nor am I wondering if something better will slap him in the face. What I'm nervous about is if he'll actually do it.
Will he put forth the effort than I am?
Or does he still feel skeevy about it and just won't tell me?
Will he embrace our decision or chicken out?
Will he attempt then regret?
Unless I send him a barrage of texts, which I'm not going to do, I can't know. My stomachs in knots. Anticipation is killer.
Oh, God! There's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many variables!!!
I think I've spent half an hour brushing my hair.......
Drank a litre of red wine (coincidentally is the same colour as my hair so now I'm getting my brush again.)
I'm a little OCD when nervous.. I've already re-aligned the movies, DVDs, cd's alphabetically. Written half a song. Set and re-set the PVR to make sure we don't miss is weeks shows. Neurotically, re-inventing another way of addressing this topic to him.
Am I being daft or naive? Am I over reacting?
It's just me, my ramblings and the elevator music in my head.
Me: bi, reformed wild-child turned mom and house maid LOL
Crux: straight/hypersexual, possibly mono?
BC: our son, 5 years
CM: second son 9 months.
Mouse: girlfriend! Status new, feelings not so much.