"I keep re-iterating my points that I'm not having my needs met. She claims that's not her job."
It might not be her "job," but it might be a requisite for her staying in a marital relationship with you.
I am aware of her history of fibbing, and wonder how much of the truth she is telling you now, such as about what the occasional-FWB friend has said to her. I also wonder if she's telling her boyfriend that everything's fine between you and her.
As the others have pointed out, you have to keep an eye on whether this marriage is good for you, and on whether it's good for the kids.
Do please keep us posted, regardless.