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Old 03-01-2013, 08:13 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

It looks like seeing this guy I mentioned meeting, Greg - is lasting past a few dates. We spent some time with Adam, they got along well and liked each other. I met his wife and one of her partners and they are pretty cool people too. I have no idea if any friendships will form but I feel satisfied that there aren't any obvious red flags to worry about, and Greg really seems to be a great communicator so I'm hoping if anything springs up we can work it out proactively.

I like guys for all sorts of reasons, some of them odd but... Greg brought up that he noticed Adam and I seem to have different comfort levels around PDAs than he and his wife do (+1 for noticing we have differing ways to do things) and that while we're comfortable kissing people we date hello and goodbye in front of each other, that they keep it to hugs only and he wanted to be clear on that ahead of time (+1 for being proactive) so I wouldn't be surprised at only getting a hug when we all end up in the same place together. (+1 for bringing it up ahead of time, +1 for looking out for everyone's comfort levels).

I actually would've brought that up before I was around them both at the same time because I'd never want to make anybody uncomfortable and know people do things differently but... seriously, I am surprised at how fucking awesome it is to see somebody actively working to make sure things go smoothly for everybody involved, nobody has ever beat me to the punch on something like that before. Hot.

On another note in a week it's going to be my 2 year anniversary with Brian. It feels so different when you generally only see somebody once a week and don't interact with them much via other means in between, just doesn't "seem" like two years. Things are really good with him and the only problem to date is when I wish the relationship was different, instead of accepting what actually is. That's been my struggle dating somebody so different than I am, but when I can keep it out of my head I am really happy. I'm enjoying spending time with him more as time goes by instead of less, and I think our differences have actually taught me a lot about relationships.

My stress level overall is a bit heightened because I've never had more than two partners before, and while I'm pretty sure the main issue may be scheduling (although Greg's availability does not conflict with my other date nights, yay!) I find myself feeling self conscious about the sheer hedonism of it all. I've felt it is totally acceptable to have two partners but think I've have had an vague feeling that if I had three I'd think I was greedy. I'll be curiously watching what happens in my head after this actually means three sexual partners (I'm a slow mover, what can I say) to see if I actually think that.

Lastly, things with Adam have been going really well. He actually notices more often when I'm hitting on him and has been initiating sex more often, so even though I'd still like to take him to bed almost every day of the week I'm pretty content. Before this behavior was ebbing and flowing, but it seems pretty stable now. I'm considering going to see his counselor at some point, but truthfully I haven't felt conflicted about anything for so long I cant think of anything to talk about right now. I'll probably start when he is dating again, as I'm sure we'll have issues with my B&W literal interpretation of our agreements vs his shades of grey interpretation, and having an outside view will help me to stop taking it personally when it happens.

He IS still a bit "restless" now that I'm dating another person and we are making sure to be aware of that. He's been spending a lot of time doing after hours work events that scratch his social itch, he has a very full March where he's out of town for almost half of it, AND he just got a job offer that will keep him busy and engaged mentally once he starts, which always makes him happier.

I'm feeling more confident he'll feel like dating again soon, and while I'm sure there will be road bumps, I think he'll be a bit more capable at managing communication issues and feelings of guilt as they spring up, and not dating just because "you're dating so I should date". I'm very glad he's aware that he can meet his desire for social interaction through other means while he sorts his other stuff out. He'll be doing more poly events solo, and we are going to Norwescon so I'm sure he'll be meeting lots of women and being reminded of the upside to dating (omg I love women!) instead of the downside (omg all the stress! STI talks! Barrier usage!!! communication!!! oh no I screwed up and your feelings are hurt so I must be bad!!!!).

So still pretty non eventful all things considered. Still pretty happy (actually I'm ecstatically sickeningly happy). Just not boring at the moment
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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