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Old 02-28-2013, 08:34 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ValerieAOK View Post

I know it's "wrong" to lie to someone. I guess I'm not as clear in words as I am in my own head. Even though it's wrong, it's not really hurting anyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ValerieAOK View Post
My husband lied to me when I met him. He told me he was straight, but right before we got married he confessed that he is actually bi, and had actually been with a few men in the past. It hurt, I was mad, I was confused, but I still love him in the end. I was merely reacting to a stigma that society shoved down my brain hole. I over came that, and I have faith that most humans can do the same.
You contradict yourself.
But anyway. If you truly believe that the hurt that your lie will cause someone else is something they will ' get over' , then I don't really see what kind of advice your looking for?

Personally, I agree with GalaGirl - why waste the energy on a date that is based on lies and will only blow up on you later? Unless you are actively looking for drama, of course, which I know some people are.

I went on a couple of dates with men who were very vague about their circumstances at home. This was in the beginning of my dating as a married woman, and I can say that I was quite desperate for the dates, for the attention. I thought I had to go on this date because who else would date me?
And I chose to ignore the fact that I felt in my gut that the guy was lying (or even, I continued to see him after I found out he was married and cheating).

The sex I had with one of those guys, in the sexless marriage, with the wife who 'did not understand him'? When I think of it now I still cringe and feel horrible about it. But I did it, I made that mistake, and the only good thing that came out of it is that I learned from it and will not do it again. Because I felt it wasn't worth it, at all.
__________________
early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Liz - very new gf

Last edited by Cleo; 02-28-2013 at 08:38 PM.
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