1) Do you want your boyfriend to be willing to talk to you about your polyamorous FEELINGS and be a part of sharing your inner life?
2) Or do you want your boyfriend to be in a polyamorous RELATIONSHIP with you and another guy?
3) Or do you want BOTH things? 1 AND 2?
He is monoamorous and wants to be in monogamous relationship. But he might be willing to OPEN enough do #1 if you are willing to keep the relationship CLOSED and monogamous for him. If that is enough for you, that could work. Could ask if he is willing to go there or not if this is your want.
- If yes he is willing, try.
- If not? You cannot make this work alone. Two people are in this romance. Your inner life unshared will wither and you could grow emotionally distant from your BF. That's not healthy sounding for the romance. Be friends instead.
If you want #2, could accept he does not want to be in a polyamorous relationship and break up. Be friends instead.
If you want #3, could accept he does not want to be in a polyamorous relationship and break up. Be friends instead.
It can FEEL hard, but the choices are pretty clear when you consider you have to work with his wants, needs, and limits and your wants, needs, and limits.
If most things will line up... you could share a romance. But if most things will not line up? Better to focus on sharing a friendship instead of FORCING things trying to share a romance that will not fly here.
It isn't anyone's fault -- everyone can want what they want for the shape of their romance. But if things just do not line up to fly together in romance, they just do not line up. Accept this, and be together in friend shape instead.