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Old 02-28-2013, 04:47 AM
ValerieAOK ValerieAOK is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Northern MN
Posts: 8
Question Lie by omission.

So, I have had a profile up on okcupid for.. going on 3 years now.. Yes I live in a smaller town so I didn't expect much, but for 3 years I got not even one response, and maybe one visit a month to my profile. No one intiated contact and I got one response out of messaging every single gay woman on the site in my area....

After talking for a long time with my husband about this he agreed he was the most likely reason I didn't get any responses. He agreed with me in deleting the married status, and removing any and all references to my "family" or "we". So on okcupid, I look like a single female.

Has it worked? Yes so far, but it is too early to tell. I've gotten more profile views in the last 24 hours then I did in those three years. And I've gotten several responses to messages I sent out.

Of course I'm worried about lying to potential dates. Yes I would prefer it if I could attract someone despite being married, but ugh.. I just want to date girls, even casually, just to gain some confidence, experience and who knows, maybe I can charm someone to the point that being married doesn't matter to them.

So.. am I really wrong in your opinion in doing this? Is this morally wrong? My husband is fine with it. Is this really just a lie of omission? I do plan on telling anyone that either wants to go out for an actual date, or someone who happens to ask about past relationships.

Will this do more harm than good? Who knows, but right now I just want some dates! I just want to go out with a few girls. I won't bring my husband, and he doesn't really want a relationship with another woman, other then maybe becoming friends with them if I see them more then a handful of times. And I really really don't want to go the gay bar looking for someone. I'm just not a bar person, and I feel like I would be even more awkward trying to hit someone up at a bar then online.

If I knew of any other way of drumming up some interest or finding a date I would try it. Too bad I'm not closer to Minneapolis, I feel like the population there would make my chances higher for scoring a date or two.
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