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Old 02-28-2013, 04:16 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,892

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
I guess I just don't feel threatened by announcements of feelings? Feelings are not logical. I am willing to accept that.
And I guess (know) that I do (feel threatened that is).

Feelings are scary to me. I don't indulge them easily. I recognize and accept them as being illogical - which doesn't sit well with me. Therefore, to me, the only reason to bring them up is if you want/expect something to change as a result of your having them - because that is the ONLY time that I am going to bring them up.

My expressions of (negative) feelings are generally tied to behaviors that trigger them and a request for a change to minimize that discomfort in the future. And I have usually analyzed them to DEATH before I am willing to have that conversation.

"In this situation the other day, you said/did this. I felt this way. I've thought about it, and I think the reason I felt this way was because I was scared that it meant thus-and-so. I realize now, after thinking about it, that x doesn't necessarily mean y - so my feeling in that case was unwarranted. In the future, if you said x in this way, it might remind me that it means z and NOT y to you - but, at any rate, I'll try not not to read so much into it in the future or ask you for clarification. Sorry I was irritable the other day, thanks for being patient with me."

JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 02-28-2013 at 04:21 AM.
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