Originally Posted by GalaGirl
I guess I just don't feel threatened by announcements of feelings? Feelings are not logical. I am willing to accept that.
And I guess (know
) that I do (feel threatened that is).
Feelings are scary to me. I don't indulge them easily. I recognize and accept them as being illogical - which doesn't sit well with me. Therefore, to me, the only reason to bring them up is if you want/expect something to change as a result of your having them - because that is the ONLY time that I am going to bring them up.
My expressions of (negative) feelings are generally tied to behaviors that trigger them and a request for a change to minimize that discomfort in the future. And I have usually analyzed them to DEATH before I am willing to have that conversation.
"In this situation the other day, you said/did this. I felt this way. I've thought about it, and I think the reason I felt this way was because I was scared that it meant thus-and-so. I realize now, after thinking about it, that x doesn't necessarily mean y - so my feeling in that case was unwarranted. In the future, if you said x in this
way, it might remind me that it means z and NOT y to you - but, at any rate, I'll try not not to read so much into it in the future or ask you for clarification. Sorry I was irritable the other day, thanks for being patient with me."