I see where it is very upsetting.
And I am in no way minimizing that!
But again -- this chick is out of the picture now.
Could choose to focus on what you have here in the present.
1) You have J
2) You have repairs to make in the rship.
3) How do you want to move it forward in future polyshipping with him? And address the issues of
- a) Any future meta who devalues you as a person
- b) J's emotional coping skills not being up to par in a crisis causing a break down of trust. How will this be brought back up to par?
Do you have any thoughts in that direction at this time people could help you with?
Hang in there. It's a lot to deal with.