Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
We concluded that love IS meant to be shared and that in sharing it, it grows. But, that doing so requires a loss of control and because people fear the unknown, we create imaginary rules to give us a sense of safety (false though it may be) and THAT is what all that structure of monogamy is actually about-false control and false security.
ANYWAY! That fell through when I married Maca-because he was so entrenched in insecurity and abandonment issues, I felt it my job to try to patiently help him heal... EPIC FAIL. Monogamy wasn't realistic for me and he was unwilling to consider that there was any healing he needed to do. His insecurity and abandonment issues fit perfectly into society's conditioning for controlling monogamy.
It blew up in my face (and his).
Thanks, LovingRadiance, for sharing your story!
I'm sorry things did not work out with Maca, but glad that you figured out the roots of the reasons why.
Your story makes me wonder about the roots of human insecurity...?
Maybe we all get imprinted with fear of abandonment by society and it takes being able to let go of fear and to really embrace the fullness and bigness of love and every person's ability to love so that we can embrace others without controlling behavior and insecurity.
Your story is helping me look at my own insecurity and fear. Perhaps that's the place to start with for me on my path exploring polyamory
Thanks for your sharing!