Hi, I thought I might join this forum to help me explore my feelings better. My whole adolescence and young adulthood thus far has been one big confusion. I still haven't managed to really define my sexuality. When I was younger I thought I might be a lesbian because I always found myself looking at women, and not men.
I didn't have a boyfriend until my 20s, but when I did, I realized that I couldn't find myself loving just one person. No matter what I do, I find myself wanting to share myself with more than one person, and I'm not sure if that would consider me polyamorist or not. I do not just want a sexual relationship with people, so I think that leads me towards polyamory.
I found it really eye-opening when I was in my human sexuality class in college, and we discussed polyamory. Even my teacher had a somewhat hard time explaining it to the class, despite being one of the most open women I have ever met. However, when I was watching documentaries with polyamorists, their lives made total sense to me, and I didn't see anything wrong with how they lived. While other people in class were having trouble grasping the concept of polyamory, I thought that it was something pretty normal.
This brings me to my current relationship status. I have a boyfriend I've been dating for almost a year. He is a great guy, and I love him to death. However, I've brought up the polyamory idea with him...he doesn't understand nor tolerate the idea whatsoever. I've had some situations where I've had to hide from him some things, and it's really hard for me to understand what I should do. I almost feel like I'm in the closet and can't come out about this, because I'll lose him.
Well, that's..that I guess. I'd love to hear advice, experience, anything from you guys! I can't wait to get started in this forum, and learn from everyone and maybe even discover some new things about myself
Thanks for taking the time to read my intro!!