Originally Posted by Blu
However, the definition of sex can be as loose as any genital contact, and I know that most people think of sex strictly as the act of penetration. So these people in "nonsexual" relationships might have their sex - by cuddling, kissing, etc. - but the community simply doesn't recognize that as "having sex" in the traditional sense.
An act is either sexual or it is not. I don't mean that absolutely, but rather from the point of view of each person involved in the act. An asexual will not think of cuddling and kissing as "having their sex" in a non-traditional sense. If they were thinking of those as sexual acts, then they would not be asexual.
That's not to say asexuals and non-sexual relationships don't have intimacy
. In the example above, cuddling and kissing is their intimacy, as it is with many sexual couples as well.
In other words, saying a relationship is non-sexual doesn't just mean "we don't have coitus, but we do other stuff and just call it sex." It means "we don't do anything that we describe or feel as sexual." For some people, cuddling and kissing are nothing but foreplay. For those people, cuddling and kissing are sexual because they are part of the overall sexual act. But for others, cuddling and kissing can be non-sexual, intimate acts in and of themselves.