Just another update. I feel like I post when things are getting rough and I need help and encouragement, which paints a one-sided picture. Things have been sweet lately. My husband has been putting in a lot more effort to be with me, and talk to me, and has even been affectionate. I had a weekend away with C, and came back to a family that was pleasant and casual in greeting me upon my return, no drama. I was full of gratitude. The good stuff just snowballs along.
I requested another night away next month, a week before my birthday, and my husband said, "Ok, if that's how I can make you happy for your birthday." I said, "No, how YOU can make me happy for my birthday is to spend the day with me, have dinner with me, and go dancing with me!" I think he heard that.
C and I have some mutual friends, one of whom approached him recently with "Can I ask a personal question? Oh no, I shouldn't," and then didn't. She had also asked whether he stays with my family when he is in my town, so we think she is suspicious that we are having an affair. I don't mind telling friends about being poly, and have told several, but we both have the concern that people who know us and haven't been told will assume we are sneaking around. We try to be discreet in public, but someone who barely knows either of us asked at a dance if we had done our hair similarly on purpose. "I know you're buddies," he said. Maybe we're not discreet enough? Or maybe he just meant buddies.
Married to a monogamous man 15 yrs, mother of 2, dating C 3 yrs, and in a romantic friendship with L more than 20 yrs