That whole feeling inadequate thing is a rough one. At some point (it seems to me) a person simply has to think well enough of themselves that they can let go, and accept that even though they might not meet every need for someone else, they're exactly who and what they should be at the present time, and nothing is lacking.
When a person needs medical care they see a doctor. Legal advise--a lawyer. Car fixed--a mechanic. They don't expect any one person to perform all those services for them. Are personal needs so different? I might be a great match for someone who likes vanilla interactions. If my loved one needs to explore kink, I'm no longer a good choice. No one is wrong in that scenario, it just is what it is. I should not feel inadequate for being who I am, not should my loved one feel wrong for having the needs they have.
You know me, MoD. I can't help you with those conversations, but I am curious if you'll still meet this girl or did it go up in a puff of smoke? :-)
(I say water chestnuts to you, by the way!)