Originally Posted by CattivaGattina
Just as an FYI, if W is so very much in the whole "I want you a secondary, I never wanted kids" mindset even if you do number 4 you still may end up with a divorce.
I guess the only difference between numbers 4 & 1 is that in the case of #4, there is the wildcard of not really knowing what her guy would do. He's still not fully divorced, and greatly worried about what might happen in his own case if details of this thing got out. His STBX is a bit hard-nosed, and could make an issue regarding his custody of his teenaged son.