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Old 02-26-2013, 07:01 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
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Originally Posted by BuffKitTon View Post
2. I am not a person who uses soft or sideways communication. I attempt to only say what I mean.
In other words, you don't give a shit how hurtful the words you choose to use and the way you choose to say them effect other people.

Usually, K is rather adept at dealing with my blunt communicative style,
So she just hid her hurt and did what made you happy.

however living with her parents recently has required her to regain skill in interpreting speech to understand them and make them happy.
She's likely had it up to her eyeball of always being the one to make other people happy with no regard to her own happiness or mental well being.

Okay, I'm being extremely harsh (or should I say blunt) - the above responses were initial knee jerk reactions to your statements. I've heard similar statement from my husband for 20 years, especially the "I don't do sideways communication", "I say what I mean", "I'm just being blunt" and even "you should never assume I'm trying to hurt you". It's all bullshit and it took a year in therapy for my husband to realize that this is a MAJOR problem. Truth is you are really NOT communicating, you are speaking Japanese to someone who speaks English, while she may have a basic understanding of YOUR language, she is far from fluent. Your statements above makes it sound like you are unwilling to learn her language so the two of you can communicate effectively.

If she is taking things "out of context" on a regular basis, there is a problem with how YOU are communicating. Constant "blunt" communications can come across as demanding, self centered and puts people on the defensive. Others have given you good advice, give their suggestions a try. Schedule times to talk, show some care for HER time and well being. Do a google search on "Non-Violent Communication" (horrible name for it), it's a great help in learning how to communicate.
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