In my Internet meandering I came across a blog with which the writer, presumably male, is accusing his wife of using polyamory as an EXCUSE to "cheat". He outlines their relationship and it all seems to check out, the only difference being that his wife has another boyfriend. Hello Mister.
He goes on to explain that he has been best friends with wife's new bf since they were children and the three of them hang out still. But I digress.
The point I'm trying to make is that I come across posts like "in a sexless marriage with primary and in love with secondary." Or "loveless marriage seeking a bridge".
Ok, maybe I'm jaded, but it's a little disturbing to see that these people are looking to polyamory as the medicine or quick fix agent. No wonder it has a *bad* appearance to normal people. I do (want) understand the values of the lifestyle not benefit from the patchwork abilities. If your staying together for the kids and choose to open up you relationship then that's cool but is bringing the community into your house just an excuse to get you rocks off with someone other than your husband, who by the way, you, MARRIED.
I'm idealistic to a flaw and really want everyone to be happy. If its working for you than ignore my nativity and keep on keeping on.
On another note, it doesn't help that television portrays the poly community as "hippie flakes seeking 'Free Love'". I don't live in a compound and grow my own root vegetables but I do love unconditionally more than my immediate family. Harbouring a secret love is hard but if it comes out then bad will happen kinda thing.
So in closing, what's the difference, or *is there * a difference between "being poly" and " using poly"?
I really love feedback, if you have anything at all to say, fret not, I take criticism like gold and praise like salt