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Old 02-26-2013, 05:56 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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The newly re-minted friendship between me and Davis has been going very well, by the way. It continues to surprise me, how much better things are now that we've shifted gears. Before, if he did something annoying it grated terribly because it wasn't just a simple bad habit, in my mind. On some level, I was imagining living with him and having to deal with that annoying thing every day. On some level, I was evaluating his very character based on whatever random annoying thing that had just happened, and finding him wanting as a life partner, and berating myself for maintaining our arrangement. Constant stress. Now, if he does something annoying, I brush it off and forget it. I truly don't know if I'm not meant for primary partnership, or if I simply wasn't meant to be his primary partner, but I DO know that I'm miles happier now.

We spent last night naked, curled up in each other's arms. I got up early and took a shower with him and felt focused and strong all day.

In other news, Harry has a big birthday party coming up soon. For those who may not recall, Harry was a lover of mine a couple of years ago, someone I very much like and respect. I dropped our physical connection when Davis and I decided to try for a life partnership, and missed him badly at first. At the time, I told Harry that I'd re-connect with him as soon as possible, whenever Davis was ready. That never happened, but Harry and I remained friends.

Harry has since gotten married. His wife is named Violet. She's been through a lot in the past couple of years, and seems like a good, strong person. She's submissive to him, but dominant generally, and she's offered to give Gia some tips about feminine dominance. Gia's interested in the idea, and the three of us may get together to discuss the topic, perhaps as soon as next month. Violet and I have chatted a bit, but haven't developed any real connection at this point.

I haven't yet told Harry that Davis and I have dissolved our formal arrangement. I feel like, if I did, he and Violet would set their sights on me -- they've been very open in mentioning that they're interested in bringing other women to their bed, especially submissive women -- and I'm not sure if I'm interested. Harry and I had a great deal of fun together, yes, but I don't want to rush into anything. Violet isn't really my type, and I don't know her well yet. Aside from which, I feel like I've been emotionally wrenched by so many stories of dysfunctional unicorn hunting here on these boards that anything that remotely feels similar, even if it's not a fair comparison, is immediately off-putting.

I'll have to tell him sooner or later, of course. He's my friend, and me dating Davis was a big turning point in our friendship, so to fail to mention that I'm no longer dating Davis is kind of a lie of omission. I just need to decide what on earth I want to say if he invites me to bed. As I've just said, we had a heck of a lot of fun, but there's something in me that's yearning for new connections... not at the moment, perhaps, but soon, I want to meet new people, I want to be surprised, I want to be out in the world and exploring and discovering, maybe even dating someone new at some point... whereas Harry (putting the question of Violet aside for the moment since, after all, she wouldn't necessarily have to be involved just because they're married now) is very much a known quantity, someone I care about very much but not someone I want to date per se. Hmm.
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Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.

Last edited by AnnabelMore; 02-26-2013 at 06:48 AM.
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