Thread: wife of a Poly
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Old 02-25-2013, 10:48 PM
newme newme is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6
Default bad news got me thinking

Thanks bobcat725.

This weekend I learned of some bad news. A friend's husband killed himself. They have three kids under 12 years old. I don't know why her husband felt he couldn't continue his struggles in life. I took this news hard. What hit me was how thankful I am that DH has came clean with everything he has been going through and the fact that we can discuss really anything with each other without worry the other will judge and we know understanding will be there. I also thought about maybe we missed that bullet. What I mean is what if DH would have kept all his stuggles in. What if he wasn't strong enough to tell me his poly desires or his infidelities. What if, what if.. I guess it didn't end that way so I am thankful.

I don't mean to make this all about DH. I was strong enough to accept DH. I was strong enough work through my own feelings of rejection, betrayal and uncertainty...

It does frustrate me that people feel they have to hide things and hurt in silence and that this world doesn't want to hear about peoples struggles. But that can start with me right? I wish I could be more open with everyone about our recent struggles but we have to appear normal to others because of fear of judgment for our kids. I hope that someday I will be able to share with someone and help them through a struggle based on something I have went through. Maybe when my kids are not so young I will be able to share this with them.

If your husband or wife is coming to you with a struggle take it seriously don't brush them off. It most likely took a lot of guts for them to come to you in the first place. Be aware of their moods and ask questions, listen and be compassionate. Research the unknown before you reject them.
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