W originally asked me when I expected her home. Since I knew the conference ended at noon, and the drive is about 2.5 hours, I told her by three. That's when she brought up the fact that she wanted to have lunch with her guy. I SHOULD have said, "So I can expect you home around 4 or 4:30, then?", but I didn't, just assuming that would be a reasonable expectation.
The fact that she didn't text me until 3:00 about the car problems is a big red flag. She's lied so many times in the past that she does it easily and without much effort. The location they were at was about 1.5 hours away from where they left, so they should have been there by 1:30-2:00. They were apparently planning on having lunch in this town where they started having the troubles.
There's so much unaccounted time that in my mind it's all just so much BS. I don't even think I have the energy tonight to talk to her about it. This is not the first time she's stretched out her time with her guy. If I do I might frame it in the guise of "I need more ME time this week because of you going over your guy allottment." She's already given me a hard time about counting hours, but seriously that is what it takes to make sure she's giving time to me and the girls. If we were in a different place, and she was meeting my emotional and physical needs, then things might be a lot different. Right now I'm the one doing the sacrificing, and if I need to keep track of how much I'm sacrificing down to the hour, then so be it.
If there's any consolation to me, it's that she got someone to work for her today so she could stay home with our girls, who are sick. It's RARE that she would do this, usually expecting me to stay home if the girls are ill and can't go to preschool. Maybe this is her conscience talking to her about yesterday.
Dinged, I know it looks pretty bad from where you stand. It looks pretty bad from where I stand, too. If there are any UP's, it's that we're still married, our finances and assets are all still intact, I've won some concessions on things like keeping him away from the kids and keeping our relationship under wraps, and we're still doing weekly therapy. I've said before and I'll say it again - I have a breaking point, and I haven't reached that yet.