What you do is your decision. I know that you aren't going to make a decision based on a group of internet strangers. But, I do hope that you take the advice in and bear it in mind when you make your decision.
I agree with everything everyone else has said in response to your last post here and your overall thread.
Yes, a sexually dominant person can have a dominant (even domineering) personality. But a*good* Dom/me also has traits such as patience, nurturing, responsibility, humility. I am a Domme and whilst asserting control is a part of my personality, I cannot act like a spoilt child simply because I am sexually dominant. I would never dream of wanting to.
My GF's husband has quite a submissive 'personality' and the two of them have gotten themselves into a cycle after ten years where she pretty much calls the shots and he follows. The fact that she isn't like that with me tells me that it's not all her. I refuse to follow, I stand up for myself and my own beliefs, and this means that we don't have the same dynamic as the two of them have.
If you let yourself be treated a certain way, you will be treated a certain way. It doesn't matter that you got down on your knees - we are all capable of begging in some form when we are scared. It doesn't matter how you've been in the past - it matters where you are now.
So you have two choices. Go with what he wants and give in to James moving in. Accept that making that decision is going to continue to put you underneath your husband's thumb for the duration of your marriage. Accept that saying yes to something you absolutely do not want is going to place all future decisions in your husband's hands.
Second choice is to stand up now and either leave, move out, or refuse to have James live with you. Accept that making that decision will be scary and difficult. Accept that making that decision is going to empower you to find your own self-worth and find someone who will actually understand what a marriage is all about - partnership.
me: female, 29
GF: my primary girlfriend, 39
3 year, open poly V, long distance