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Old 02-24-2013, 06:35 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Why would you break the bond with Mono if he found another gf?

Unless you mean you are co dependent with Mono and it is unhealthy, the bond or dependence. In that case, change things now. You don't need to wait til if and when he finds another serious gf.
Our bond would be lessened for me for a time while we adjust to someone new in our lives. I guess I figure it might be a way for me to cope and would give me an opportunity to do some of my own things. Kind of a "putting on hold" and waiting to see if he can accomplish two relationships at once.

I will endevour to follow the lead of those who have gone before me and remind myself that just because his fascination is elsewhere does not mean he doesn't love me and want me in his life. I've not had to experience this with Mono before and haven't had to with my other loves for quite some time. Its making me feel that I won't be capable of handling that kind of change so I guess I am preparing.

People don't come and go in and out of our lives very often. I am completely out of practice with that and it has meant that ya, I have a level of dependence that has developed over time. I'm not sure if that is a bad thing... its a comfortable thing and I worry that I am to comfortable. Being comfortable is uncomfortable as it usually follows with being off my guard and slammed into discomfort by something I had not considered. Maybe its stupid to "prepare" as it could very well be that the discomfort that comes in life might come from something unrelated to anything I am thinking it will anyway.

It feels strange to talk about it as I am experiencing a second round of NRE with Mono at the moment (I've not really lost it, just lessened in time) and it seems to be something that could very well be far into the future. I am not being naive this time though and opting for the less co-dependent monogamous within a poly relationship version. If that makes sense.

Thanks for writing Mags. You always make me think and point out stuff about my life that others are likely thinking and not mentioning. I'm glad for the opportunity to think more deeply even if some times that is uncomfortable.
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