Thank you, everyone. I feel way less trapped now and feel much more comfortable being able to express my true feelings (as GG said 'weather report') without worrying that it is 'ungrateful' not to express some kind of actual love.
I'm going over there in a few weeks and hopefully all of this will make our cohabiting situation more comfortable and easy!
Thank you again.
Sparklepop over and out!
me: female, 29
GF: my primary girlfriend, 39
3 year, open poly V, long distance